Lace up those Doc Martens tightly. You don’t wanna break a hip in the mosh pit.
I just had another birthday and I’m wondering if I seem as old and uncool to young people as my parents seemed to me when I was a teenager.
I don’t have kids, otherwise I might have someone to tell me how embarrassing I am. I like to think I’m still pretty hip, but I’m paranoid because of the memory of one night in downtown Orlando circa 1996.
I distinctly recall being at The Club at Firestone to see some DJ. This was shortly after I transformed from my grungy/gothy stage into my sparkly club-kid phase. My posse of baggy-jeaned friends and I were in full-on rave mode, dancing to the musical stylings of one of the headliners of that day (probably Sasha and Digweed, Keoki, Rabbit in the Moon, Icey, or the like).
And then I beheld the dreaded old-guy-at-the club.
You’ve seen him. He crashes all the venues; the bleak harbinger of your future uncoolness.
This particular specimen of old-guy-at-the-club was very enthusiastic, bopping and thrusting in front of the smoke machine. Then he tried to merge with us, busting-a-move in the middle of our group in his Wranglers.
My friends and I disengaged our ring-pops, holstered our glow-sticks, and cleared the dance floor as if he had a contagious disease. We stood around him in a circle, watching his gesticulations under the laser lights in abject horror.
We couldn’t speak over the music, but our thoughts hovered in the Vicks vapo-filled air. He doesn’t belong here. Doesn’t he know that?
From that day on I vowed to never become the old-guy-at-the-club.
Fast forward almost twenty years (f*cking sh*t, can it really be that long?) I find myself with the fleeting urge to go to concerts, electronic music festivals, or nightclubs. But The Husband, in his wisdom, never takes me. I think he’s saving me from the hard truth. I can’t go anymore. I’m too old.
I found this quiz on The Village Voice proving that my generation has officially shifted into the charming, yet obsolete sector of the population.
Quiz: Where Do You Fall on the Geriatric Gen-X Spectrum?
Note the word “geriatric” in the title. My suspicion is further verified by the fact that many of my beloved films now appear on the classic movie channel. Depressing, I know.
Man! I thought Gen-Xer’s would always be relevant and cool. I never planned on growing up. Now I wonder… should I give up my Converse? Is it time to remove my tragus piercing? Do I have to start wearing high-waisted khakis?
Tell me it’s not true.
What do you miss about The 90s?
What are your favorite memories from The 90s?
How old is too old to be at the club?
I love this! I never planned to grow up..totally relate to that. I literally freak out when anyone mentions the fact the music I love was over 20 years ago….no!! As for my favorite memories of the 90’s…I’ve got so many…it was a great time to be a teenager. I fell into grunge and was devastated by the death of Kurt Cobain…and then along came Britpop and saved us all…I remember looking at old people and thinking that will never be me, your time is over, my time is now…oh how quickly time shoved me forward! Now I am the wrong side of 35 with four children who get embarrassed when I sing or dance… I listen to MY music on the school run and I feel like I am young again, but how can that be when the car is full of kids??? I don’t get THEIR music, it’s all rubbish. I remember my mum saying that to me. Great post!!
Never too old! (I hope! 🙂 Thanks for following my blog, thefinalcurtain1.wordpress.com
Love this! Love the boots! Love the leggings. Oh no. I’m old. crap. 🙂
Was there an old dreaded guy at EVERY club in the 90’s? For me, it was the underground clubs in Hollywood that I haunted, and at MANY of them I saw this guy, and yes, my friends and I would back away in horror, almost hold up the sign of the cross (or our “gothic” rosaries”) as if to scare the haunter of old age away.
Am I that guy now? Hmmm…I guess I don’t feel like it. I still go to concerts and gigs, though I’m not much for clubs anymore, though I have friends who do still go, at least to the goth (I’m still surprised its still a thing) venues, but when I see pictures these places seem to be haunted by some of us 40-somethings more than I think any other “club” is.
Maybe I’m in “old guy at the club” denial.
As for what I miss from the 90’s? The music, crushed velvet leggings, no cell phones, and my babydoll dresses.
This was a great read, btw!
I had a feeling that I wasn’t the only one who witnessed the-old-guy-at-the-club. In the 90’s I remember more older people always being at the club on goth night, but they just kind of lurked in the shadows. I guess it was an older crowd because that movement really started when I was just a baby in the late 70’s early 80’s. Those originals would be grandparents now. I wonder if they still go with eyeliner and black fingernails, lol.
I’m glad you enjoyed the read and I’m excited to have found your blog! Thanks for commenting 🙂
I got into the “goth” scene in the late 80’s. I would have been a kid when it started. But the non-goth clubs are where I saw the-old-guy-at-the-club…always dancing in the middle of the dance floor, always sweaty. Though now I do wonder to myself just HOW OLD he really was? I was YOUNG…was he/the “he’s” like 35? or maybe even 30? Perception and memory do not always work hand-in-hand.
I’m glad to have found your blog, too!!! I really enjoyed this post!
What a fun post, Christa. I think you are speaking for a lot of us! Sometimes you feel like age creeps up on you, other times it feels like an onslaught (maybe that’s when someone goes through a trauma or dramatic realization). When I was young I really didn’t do all that much clubbing bc at first I was too self conscious and then I became religious (Jewish), but I miss San Francisco of the 90s, crush velvet goth dresses, writing and receiving 20 page (love) letters. had some bad realizations about age at various points when shopping in H&M, Zara (should I be in here–wait!!!) The thing that makes me feel oldest and most on the shelf is the constantly changing digital landscape, the hyper focus on IT, the death of bookstores. I feel like we have to appreciate something special: Generation X was the last generation to grow up free of digital apps from birth, the last generation that knew what it was like to play outside or walk to school or friends’ houses without your parents worrying you were going to be abducted and ferrying you there.
Oh my gosh, I forgot about the crushed velvet!
But your comment really hit me. We were the last generation to be free of mobile devices, GPS, and social networks. Gen-Xers actually had to mail letters with postage and wait to get home to call someone. We actually talked to each other without texting, selfie-ing, or checking email in between. We had to wait to develop a roll of film for chrissake!
I enjoy technology, but my mind was a lot quieter then. I get overwhelmed with the chirping of my devices and computers. I don’t know if the new kids have the same prob. In fact, this past weekend I cut-off all electronics. I was frazzled! So I tuned out and watched European films all day without any notifications or calls to disturb me. I rarely watch a movie without some sort of interruption. This was heaven! I think we all should make it a once a week ritual to disconnect.
Thanks so much for stopping by. I am a gothic novel freak. I can’t wait to hear more about your writing!
I’m really interested in your writing and topics too, Christa, or if you have any special recommendations. I can tell you one: Angela Carter– have you read her (gothic, excellent stylist). What you said is true.
We were also the last generation then that ever experienced much anticipation. Waiting for a letter. Waiting to develop a roll of film. etc. There was also a limit to how much narcissism was possible in our generation. (Warhol’s “Ten Minutes of Fame”). Now it is completely unleashed by social media.
Thanks for the recommendation. I saw you were a Kafka and Brontes fan, so I knew you were my girl. I’ll add Angela Carter to my reading list.
As for the rampant narcissism, I wonder what will happen to humans’ psychological, sociological, and neurological development. I’m glad we Gen-Xers (and older gens) can observe the craziness from our pre-internet perspective. I think this topic will permeate the literature of our age. I’m looking forward to see how writers tackle it! I might try myself.
I believe I’m still young (33) but whenever I go to a club and some 18 or 19 year old guy tries to hit on me and asks me what college I attend to… I just want to run (apparently I look younger) and I dress younger as well, so if you ask me if you should wear those high-waisted khakis, just don’t, it’s your spirit who lastly determines your age… thanks for following my blog
At 33 I still didn’t see much of a difference. It seemed to fall apart overnight, but I think your Bolivian background will keep you looking younger for a long time. My husband is Asian and Panamanian. He’s 12 years older than me and his skin has barely a line! Looks like you’ll be the cougar extraordinaire.
omigod…..just found your blog and can’t believe how applicable this is to me – aging Gen X-er here, constantly in denial about the slightly wrinkled face that stares back at me in the mirror. It’s especially weird because the 90s really are alive in Portland, so the past of my youth frequently stares me in the face in the form of young girls wearing my exact outfits from the 90s. Look forward to reading more of your writing!
I’m so totally in denial too, but since I passed 35-ish it’s been more difficult to ignore my “maturing” appearance. I think I’ll just stop looking in a mirror eventually. Thanks for stopping by, Heidi.
it’s not a question of whether or not you’re too old, it’s a question of how offensive one can be at any age. that dude was not cool. ever.
I probably wasn’t cool either. I just thought I was, lol.
“The bleak harbinger of your future uncoolness.” Wow! If that’s not the truth. There were quite of few of them who came to do the Capital Theatre (ground zero for punk rock scenesterism in the mid- to late-80s Flint, MI). We used to get such a charge out of making fun of them in their various ensembles of mom jeans and/or flannel shirts, pre-grunge era before they became retro cool, of course. Almost hard to believe that I would now be “that guy” if I had the audacity to show my face in some of my old haunts. Fortunately, I know better.
The funny thing is, those old guys were probably only thirty.
Oh wow! lol I miss you guys! I don’t remember A LOT apparently lol But I do miss the can’t give a crap mentality we all seem to have back then. I miss the music, and I miss how we banded together even though none of us had anything “together” at the time. I do feel I am too old to be at clubs and raves and places like that. Honestly, I don’t crave that scene anymore. But I do miss how carefree it all was, albeit stupid in most instances lol We have some amazing memories, those I can remember anyway 😉
Yeah, I miss those days of abandon, too. I love this, “I miss how we banded together even though none of us had anything “together” at the time.” That’s a good line, Tami. Maybe you should start writing.
You know what I miss from the 90’s? My 40’s.
Hahaha! Then you had all your wild times during the 70’s. That must’ve been fun.
Well, they were not all THAT wild. More like mild with the hot sauce on the side. Just dip in a little to taste the heat. Hey, I survived and remember some of it!
Nothing wrong with Daisy Dukes and orthopedic shoes.
LMAO!
Hi there– this ex beatnic, hippie, fast forward disco infurnoer, has some comments. All my phases were great. Had a good ol time. Last time I was out at the “in club” being the old women, I did not try to fit in, had a little too much to drink did my own thing and was dancing and just being a total goof, well low and behold, all the young guys and girls came over and started to dance with me.
They bought me drinks, made me sit with them and we had this great time, they wanted to know when I was coming back. You can still do the club “thing” just being your OLD self, it seemed the young “ins” had fun with the old fart, that still knew how to party but NOT try to be one of them. Just go and have your own good time. (*guys don’t try to hit on the young girls and make them want to puke)
So if you have that old urge for club night out, go and do your own thing, Have your own party with your own friends, or yourself, with their music. You will either be ignored which is ok or you just may make some new young friends.
ps ask me what I miss about the 60’s—-everything. haha. The 90’s were fun, but there was nothing like being a flower child. haha
If you can still do it, you are never too old for anything!
I guess you’re okay as long as you still know how to have fun (and you don’t hit on underage kids).
You have such a youthful spirit. Plus, you’re a little crazy, so that helps, hahaha.
I miss the music, it’s not the same anymore… When you start using phrases like that and wondering whether any of the other people there are old enough to drink then it’s a sign you are too old!
Yes, I do catch myself saying that music was better back in the day. Aaaaahhh! It’s happening!
I completely feel your pain.! I too used to hang out in the goth club scene 20 years ago.! And while I don’t look my age 🙂 I know I don’t look like I did in my twenties.! But I still want to go clubbing…but I don’t for the very same reasons. I don’t want to be that “older” person at the club.
Maybe we just have to create our own gen x clubs for us 😀
Thanks, Rose.
I don’t think I look THAT old, either. At least I hope not. But even though the dark, smoky lighting of the nightclubs will make us look twenty years younger, I still think they’ll be able to sniff me out.
Our own clubs. Now that’s a great idea!
Hahaha…Yes, you look fantastic in your photo.!! And yes, you’re probably right. We don’t have that new car smell any longer 😀 They would find us out…
LOL, new car smell. We’ll have to hang one of those tree air-fresheners around our neck.
First, happy birthday, Christa!
Now, from my observation, you’ll always have “your kind” as the group you relate to, with that group’s hip music, fads that were so cool, and memories. You never lose that. Let the younger kids have their time of “Cool” and don’t worry about not fitting in — you’re not supposed to. And if you are so wild as to make an appearance among the younger generation on the dance floor or a concert, do it as a wild woman, not as someone trying to stay young…believe me when I say you have so much to look forward to as you go through the phases ahead. Enjoy the journey!
Thank you, Dianne.
I know I sound whiny. I truly am enjoying life more as I get older. The world is so much richer, more complex, and multi-layered. I just get nostalgic once in awhile. I think I feel it more sometimes because I live in a different country where no one I know here shared the same experience.
Thanks for the reassurance. I do look forward to the years ahead, and I hope I’m blessed enough to live them!
I remember trying to sneak into clubs at the cusp of being 21. And I’m really telling my age when I tell you Madonna was super hot! I remember wearing hot pink and spending hours making my hair look like I just crawled out of bed.
I think things are coming full circle. Anybody interested in seeing a 40 something in a pair of daisy-dukes?
Madonna is the perfect example of a woman who is fighting aging and obscurity to the last. What is she, like 50? And she still bounces around on stage in lingerie. You have to admire that. So rock those Daisy Dukes!
I should have said winning tee-shirts by exposing my breasts in clubs. Maybe that’s why they threw me the tee-shirts.
Hahaha!
I was pulling my tee-shirt off in clubs at the age of forty-three, just ten years ago, but I don’t think I can do it anymore. A lot has changed in the past few. EEEWWWW!!!
I don’t think any guy will refuse a boob flash no matter how ‘mature’ they are.
Meaning how mature the boobs are, lol.
I love this “sweet delirium.” If you think you feel old sometimes, what about me? Physically I still feel young, but I sure and not “with it” in the generation scheme of things.
You are still cool in my book, champagne buddy 🙂